As a mom in business, I am of course always looking for ways to make myself better. I am a part of a group for small business owners where we get to know, embrace and encourage each other.
The topic this morning was “what made you finally decide to start your business?”. A simple question right? The answer is simple. Someone told me I couldn’t. But the reason that impacted me so strongly is well, wordy.
When I look at my oldest child, I see so much of me that I had to overcome and think, “Darn it, why did I give him that trait”. The main one is that if I am not immediately good at something, I want nothing to do with it I want to do things where I shine, and I don’t want to have to try too hard to figure things out. My husband, who has dyslexia cannot stand that quality about me. He has struggled academically, and has fought to have an amazing career. Damn it, I am so proud of him. Without him intending to, his responses to me giving up easy always make me feel small, like a spoiled rotten brat. I’ve had to grapple with a lot of those feelings as I raise two children with learning disabilities. I have taken a lot for granted.
The ability to read without thinking about it, the confidence to just say “forget that, I’ll find something better”, because I never was scared of failing, or making a mistake or not having the resources I always needed. until I was. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I don’t know why it stands out, and I don’t know why it struck me so fiercely. But I can’t forget it. And now it’s my fuel. It lit my soulfire!
When we moved to TX, I was a certified teacher in MS. We made the conscious decision that I was not going to back into teaching, and I would stay home with my babies. That was short lived. My mom, who wasn’t moving here, ever, moved in with us just four months after we moved here. A friend we met needed help at a clinic. All of the pieces fell into place and I took a job as a receptionist. I remember telling myself it was only temporary. It lasted three years.
The office manager at this office was negative. She didn’t like her job. She wanted to be home. She came up with excuses all the time. She was in her 50’s and unhappy with her life. I tried really hard to understand her. Turns out I couldn’t and I wasn’t supposed to. In one of our conversations at lunch she told me a few things:
(1) Laura, life isn’t what you think it is. You can’t be a dreamer all the time.
(2) Laura, you can’t make money selling vacations. People don’t do that anymore.
(3) Real work at home jobs don’t exist. You work, you pay bills, you die.
I quit three weeks later. NOT THIS GIRL. No way, no how. I do NOT want a life I have to vacation from, I want a life between vacations. I want to flourish in a field that makes me happy, in a life that makes my heart swell. Five years in, and I am on my way. So if you are on a journey, or thinking about taking a leap of faith TAKE IT. Do that thing that’s burning inside you. And be sure to send those naysayers a gift basket when you’ve made it (offering them your services).
Join me on this journey! I can’t wait to meet ya’ll.
Coffee, Candor and Caravans 